Let me cry aloud like the spring cloud
Farewell to friends makes stones cry aloud (Sa’di Shirazi)
The retaliation sentences are there to cover up and make possible the on-going injustice, peculations and gaining billions by the Islamic Republic.
Rasoul Badaghi and I were taken to the solitaries because of protesting to the authorities when they were closing the library of the ward. I wish I had to serve months in the solitaries of other prisons and I had not had to see and hear what I saw and heard and had as real night mare here, the events which had made me deeply sad and outraged.
On February 18th I was in the cell and thinking of my situation and the oppression which I had to face when the shouting of the prison guard shook me up:
“Gather your stuff. I am ordered to change your cell!”
I took the 2 blankets I had and followed the prison guard. When I was leaving the corridor I saw 8 young men entering there. Their eyes were shining which showed how young they were but at the same time those eyes were full of fear and terror. You could see in their eyes the storm that was going on in their minds and the effort which was trying to tie the past, present and the future to each other. A thought came to my mind like a heat-lighting, my heart was beating rapidly and my whole body was shaking.
I asked the guard: “Why are they being brought here?”
-To enforce the sentence!
I got frozen and could not breath. My mouth got a bitter taste and a storm of horror and sadness raided my heart. I could not understand and had different emotions from moment to moment. I tried to swallow the saliva very hardly and asked him: “Do you mean that they are going to be executed tomorrow?” I heard the word “YES” in full horror. I was scared but the prison guard continued:
“We have been busy with death row prisoners in recent days. There will be more prisoners hanged tomorrow.”
I have been witnessing scenes, sounds and words which were the signs of an increase in the crimes being committed by the regime. According to what the prison guard said, they were going to hang more people, kill more people. (How much blood does this monster need to survive?)
The guard said: “We could not accept them in here because of not having enough space but there are 40 more prisoners waiting to be executed in the next 2 days.”
I do not remember what he said afterwards. I was completely into my thoughts and I was hearing absolutely nothing more. I hit my hands on my head unconsciously and began to weep from the depth of my heart. I wanted to scream with every cell of my body and turn every corpuscle of me to a drop of tear. The words and sentences were marching in my mind rapidly and disorderedly. Shame on us! Where are we that the youth are taken to slaughterhouses every day? On which wall of this house can I beat my heavy and confounded head?
My legs could not stand my weight anymore. I threw myself in the corner of the cell and sat there on the ground. I have no idea how long it took, the only thing I remember is that the faces of those 8 young men were all the time in front of my eyes and I definitely knew that one of them was in the very cell that I was, sitting on the very carpet that I did which was probably wet from tears of hundreds of others, too. Or maybe he was walking while thinking of endless dreams. I could not imagine what he was thinking of and how he was going to spend these final hours of his life. Whose pictures is he imagining in his mind? His wife? Father? Mother? Brother? Sister? What is he saying to them? What is he asking them for?
Again I do not remember when it was that the sound of the opening doors and the voices of the talking people increased and immediately I heard the supplication of those miserable men which were scratching deep into my bones and covered all my whole being. It was the time to enforce the ordered death. After years of waiting among hope and disappointment and the last hopeless terrible hours for them, I was only an observer through the walls who was able to understand some parts of this bloody relationship between the government and these young men who were the victims of the brutal social conditions. I was only able to hear the wings of the death owl flying on the other cells and could not understand the necessity of this bloodshed but I was seeing the shadow of the death on all walls and the whole environment. It seemed that I had died hours ago. I had felt the cord around my neck and had been hanged several times during that night. The claws of the lump were so tight around my neck that I could not even move. I was just stuck to the door hoping to get some news or hear that they are not going to be executed. Among the supplication and crying I heard some other voices, too. Maybe they were their families or the families of the complaints. I am not able to describe this atrocity and mercilessness anymore.
I wish I could! I wish I could take the families of the Larijanis and other judges and authorities instead of the families of these miserable young men and tell them to watch the slaughter and murder which was committed by their fathers, children, brothers or sisters. The murder of the youth who have been growing up in these 35 years and no matter what they have done, they are the outcome of the Islamic Republic. I wish I could tell them the monster that you owe your happiness to it is surviving on such murders and it has to drink more blood as the days pass. I wish I could tell them the facilities that you are benefiting from, the things that you are living with and all the delicious food that you are eating are bloody and you continue to have them because of these slaughters. If you do not stand against the crimes which are committed by your family members, you have a certain amount of accomplicity.
I wish I could take some films or at least photos of these murders for the sake of the history and to give to the international community and human rights organizations and tell them that under the hoax called “Hassan Rohani” and the fictitious “Islamic Human Rights” there are on-going crimes which are increasing rapidly. I wish I could tell them how they are hanging the youth and slaying them to keep the reactionary social relations alive while hiding their bloody teeth under a smiling mask.
Shame on all of us! Shame on all those whose lives are dependent on these bloodsheds! Shame on all those who see the bloodshed and turn their eyes blind! Shame on the human hunters who are going to face a very hard death!
The execution of human beings must be prohibited
Rajai Shahr Prison, Karaj, Iran
February 22, 2014